Monday, May 12, 2014

Survivor


 
Lined up at the edge of the shallow trench arm-in-arm with my brothers, soldiers behind. I stare at the abundance of worms churning the fresh soil below. “FIRE!” I feel nothing, we fall together. Fighting tears, I lay still. Earth covers us.


16 comments:

  1. Well done. A very powerful 42.

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  2. "We fall together" and "Earth covers us" - two three word sequences that pack so much impact.

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  3. Wow. I'm amazed at the amount of emotion you portrayed in only 42 words. Well done.

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  4. Oh - when taken together with the title, it's even better. Fabulous. Thanks for linking this up!

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    1. Thank you. Truthfully, the title was a bit of an afterthought. I'm glad you liked it.

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  5. So very, very powerful.. packed a punch in 42 words, you did...

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  6. quick foreshadow of events, good write.

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  7. You kicked me in the gut with this one...Great write!

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  8. So, so powerful and that last line is just beautiful. Great take.

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  9. Absolutely horrifying. And I read that your title was last minute, but it was a game changer. Mighty fine! (innatejames.wordpress.com)

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